In my last post I touched on a subject we keep fairly close to ourselves in full detail. But I have chosen to break that silence. We tried already to conquer it without much "to-do" over it to anyone outside our closest family and friends. I slowly started to open up about it to friends who are a little further outside our circle and have mentioned it in my writing, as well. I have hit a point where I cannot keep my knowledge of this danger silent any longer.
I have researched and watched and learned all I can and I get more anxious with every article, thread post and TV show. I don't feel like I am being responsible or doing what I have set out to do, if I don't come clean and share this with you completely.
The dangers of "Huffing" are real. I had no idea. I just thought it was a cheap substitute for the narcotics we ensured our son could no longer get. I knew it was dangerous, mind you, but I had no idea how addicting or how necessary it became to our son, until recently.
I want to start at the beginning and give you a timeline of sorts, so you can see the progression that we went through. Not everyone's situation will be the same, the progression of abuse differs from person to person and affects all families differently, but the similarities are hauntingly similar. Too similar to ignore.
December 2013: my husband and I find evidence of drug use in our son's closet while we are switching rooms around. This was a shoe box with a plastic bag, a spoon, a used insulin syringe, an empty ball point pen tube, cotton balls and aluminum foil and a light dusting powder covering everything. I immediately thought meth or heroin. I called my son home, confronted him and found out it was Percocet. Heavy dose pain killers my father is prescribed. I then thought it was brought on by:
- my mother's death
- my son's DUI and totaling of my car (that I thought was a result of my mom passing)
- my husband's mother's murder
- my brother's alcoholic death
- Any of the above would send you over the edge, right?