Personal Note

My most valued possession is my family. Even if you are living in a box somewhere, and you have the love and support of your family, you will always be wealthy. Love really is all you need. From love, great things will emerge. From your thoughts, you can create greatness.

This is what I need to remind myself of everyday to be the best person that I can be. Live your life with gratitude. Be thankful for all that you have everyday, even if it is your eyes to see or your ears to hear or your feet to walk or your hands to create. Understand your place in this Universe; how infinitesimally small you are, but how huge a contribution your Spirit is. Don't wear blinders to the world around you, you're not the only one here. Be kind, considerate, don't be judgemental, love others, and yourself. Know that you are perfect inside; that you are love.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

From Tragedy, Can Come Peace

This is my first post in a long while...I just haven't taken the time to write. Then a tragedy happened in my family. I lost my mother. It's been almost two months. It was sudden and completely unexpected. I've been taking my time contemplating what and when to write. I've written drafts, snippits, ran thoughts and ideas through my head, but haven't posted any of it yet. It wasn't the right time. I suppose now is, I just picked up the computer and decided today is the day. inspiration to get going again, my "nudge", if you will...
 I've been a little more active on Pinterest these last few weeks. Facebook, not so much. Pinterest is more solitary.  I have a board that is dedicated to Blogs worth Browsing...I found a pin from a friend, saw that it was from a blog that was just up my alley ( and on Blogger so I could add it to my reading list, and saw this fantastic idea "Find a Friend Friday" where you can link your blog right there on her blog and search anyone else who has linked up to meet new bloggers. I usually wouldn't do that, I'm still quite new to blogging and mine is not like the others. Although I am crafty, and love to DIY, I have yet to start a blog gearing toward that nature, so I was a little nervous about signing up. But you won't ever know if you don't try, right? Maybe someone might actually read a little of this blog and find a bit of inspiration. So, that's how I decided to get back to writing. I can't very well sign up for "Find a Friend Friday" with a blog that hasn't been written in since January, now can I?
So this is what I've been thinking about...
Since my mom died, I have my own B.C. and A.D.: Before Crisis and After (mom's) Death. Nothing will ever be the same. I haven't really let it all sink in. I've kept myself very busy with taking care of my dad: planning the showing and funeral , finding him a house and getting him moved here near us, getting his finances in order (he had never even seen their checking account), cleaning out their house to sell (still working on that), calling Realtors, the coroner (we're still working with them to get answers), taking dad to his medical appointments (he's a disabled veteran and does not drive), all while taking care of my own family and dealing with the fallout of my 17 year old son not handling his grandmothers death very well (they were very close).  I, of course, am not asking for pity, it's just there's been so much to do, I've had a lot of distractions to keep my mind busy. Not always the best idea, I guess. I haven't really dealt with everything the way I should. But I'm getting there. I take it one day at a time. I've recently decided to speak to a grief counselor. I want to make sure I'm handling things in a healthy way. I believe that everything happens as it should when it should if you allow it. That philosophy is a hard one to accept after something like this happens. You question what you've been brought up to believe in, what you've always been taught. The story is always different when it happens to you, whatever it is.
I had been reading a book "Wishes Fulfilled" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He gave high praises to a book that was written by a woman named Anita Moorjani called "Dying To Be Me" after she had a Near Death Experience. I acknowledged this with curiosity, planning to read it in the near future (though open minded as I am, I am a skeptic by nature) and continued with my book. A little while later, my mom died. After a while when things settled down a little I thought about that book. Alot. I looked it up and purchased it. It brought me such peace when I needed it the most. If you read any of my posts, you will immediately notice that I am not a 'conventional-thinking' person. I realize that what I believe isn't for everyone. I have changed so much over the years, and I will continue to do so. But I respect others for their beliefs and hope that they would bestow that same respect upon me. I think this world is changing. I see it every day. People are becoming less selfish. Thinking deeper. Accepting more. Connecting more. Becoming kinder. It's exciting.
I'm still working through my grief over my mom. It will take a long time. And even though I gained peace about most aspects of it, there are still rough patches to tend to. I will share as much as I can about it, while still musing about other things that are important to me. I also hope that when everything smooths itself out more I can expand my own horizons and start those things I have been putting off for whatever excuse. If I've learned anything from this great loss, it's that you have to do as well as dream. You don't have forever. You can't waste time worrying about what everyone else thinks. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, do what you love. If you can help someone in any way while you do it...all the better. There's nothing wrong with living a life of service. I learned that in the next book I was compelled to read-"The Shift." Halfway through that book I decided to watch the DVD movie of the same title. The information I gained from all of these sources is invaluable to me.
One of my greatest sadnesses about my mother's death came from the fact that she still had things she wanted to do. It wasn't like she was battling an illness. It was a medication issue and it was sudden and unexpected. And she wasn't done living. I'm not saying she didn't live each of her days to the fullest, she was involved in her church and was an avid volunteer. She loved to get out and go. She had just turned 69 and was very active.  I'm saying we all need to do what makes us happy. Try to be a little more open minded and a little less condemning. Live an unselfish life. Love to the fullest. Forgive wholeheartedly. Hold your loved ones close and dear. Notice everything around you and enjoy it all.  Learn all you can while you can. Choose your battles and decide what it's worth. Judge less. Vow to inspire, and be inspired. After all, we are here to be happy. Sometimes it's hard to think and feel this way especially after a loss, of any kind, and you're feeling lost and confused, maybe even angry. I've been there many times in my life for many different reasons and I'm sure I will be again. I'm human with a human range of emotions. What may be great for me one day could feel like it is falling apart the next. And I'll be writing about it. But I'm learning. And one of the greatest lessons I've learned is to accept myself for who I am. To love myself unconditionally. Nothing can ever be wrong with that.  I am so thankful that I was able to receive the things that have come into my life( like Tolle, Hay, Dyer, Williamson, etc) that gave me the peace and clarity I needed when I needed them to start changing my life (2008). If I hadn't, I would be in a totally different place right now. All I needed was to be ready and allow it as it came. I can trust fully that I will get the answers I need when I am ready for them. Everything happens in this Universe perfectly as it should. We may not be happy about all of it, but our reaction to a situation is what gives us pain. We have the ability to choose. Why not choose to be at peace? I wish all of you peace and kindness, and above all...LOVE.

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